Bravo Network is killing me

Nicole loves Top Chef, or whatever the hell it's called. It's a reality show on Bravo Network about a bunch of chefs competing to win some damn something or other. All I know is I rarely think anything they come up with sounds the least bit appetizing. It's always some reduction sauce with a French name made from pomegranate or blood oranges poured over risotto and organic lentils or some other nonsense. And what's the deal with leaving the head on the fish or the shell on the crawfish? When I eat out I figure I'm paying for someone else to do the prep work, not leave me trying to negotiate an exoskeleton with a butter knife and whatever MacGiver-like contraption I can manage to assemble from things I find on the table. Oh yeah. And Bravo Network? Yes I understand that Paula Abdul has a new reality show. You remind me every commercial break. Yes I'm aware she had a hit in the 80's called "Straight Up" because you play the same damn promo, with the same damn opening notes and the same damn clips of Paula calling herself a "warrior" over and over and over again. And finally, since I'm in a ranting mood today. Would SOMEBODY please tell Kentucky Fried Chicken that Sweet Home ALABAMA makes no sense as their jingle? And even if it was Sweet Home Kentucky it still would become annoying after oh I don't know, the first 10,000 times I have to hear it? Oh, and one more thing. Paul McCartney? Your new song sucks. Yes it's very cute that you're playing a mandolin strung upside down but your song still sucks. Do you have Jack White writing your lyrics? I hear he's been thinkin bout his doorbell, thinkin bout his doorbell, thinkin bout his doorbell. When ya gonna ring it? Please Paul. Ring Jack's doorbell but make sure the smell of natural gas is strong in the air before you do. There. I'm done now. That is all. As you were.