So I'm going to get lasered

I've made the appointment. June 20th is the big day. Silverstein Eye Centers is going to perform lasik surgery on me. I'm going to have both eyes done the same, instead of the weird one eye farsighted one eye nearsighted thing that most people get. I tried that arrangement with contacts and ended up wanted to run around in circles. Not to mention the headaches. So both eyes will be just like they are right now when I'm wearing contacts. Only one problem. At 41 years of age I've reached the stage that apparently most people get. The inability of my eyes to refocus on things close up. Yep. It's bifocal time. Up until now I've compensated. When I'm wearing my fashionably skinny glasses I just look under the lenses to read, or over the lenses to see someone's face clearly. When I'm wearing my contacts I usually have Nicole with me to do things like tell me the amount of the restaurant check or what the fine print on the menu says. After next Friday, looking out from under my glasses will no longer be an option. It's time for the dreaded reading glasses. Yep. I'm about to become "that guy." Do I get the ones that can be carried in a discrete pocket case, or do I just break down and wear them on a string around my neck? Or... Maybe I'll get a monocle! Then I can walk around shaking my fist and saying "Hoogaaaaannnn!" in my best Colonel Klink voice.