The Song Virus Game

For those of us with a borderline obsessive-compulsive disorder, the joy or agony of having a song stuck in your head is a daily occurrence. Years ago a friend and I used to trade voicemails; humming a few bars or simply saying the name of the song, then ending the message with "Tag! You're it!" I used to look at that flashing LED on my answering machine with much skepticism. Could this be my daily solicitation from a dating service or was I about to embark on three days of humming the theme from The Magnificent Seven? Anyway, on Sunday morning I saw an interview with Patty Boyd promoting her new tell all book. For those of you who don't know, Patty was married to George Harrison and later Eric Clapton. I think she holds the world record for being the subject of the most Top 10 songs. So the song I've been "listening" to in my head since Sunday morning? Layla Tag! You're it!

Living With Ed

HGTV has a reality series based around Ed Begley Jr. & Rachelle Carson called Living With Ed. From what I can tell from the first episode it consists of Ed going around and visiting his Hollywood friends and giving them advice on how they can make changes to their households to make them more Green. One of his visits was to Cheryl Tiegs who is wanting to do some major retrofitting to her house including solar panels and solar water heating for her swimming pool. Pardon my break from decorum, but DAMN! I expected to see an aged version of the 70's supermodel, but that was not the case! Nicole was laughingly putting in lines for Rachelle as Ed showed his lack of game. "Ed, take your hand off the way-to-hot-for-you supermodel's arm." "Ed, quit being such a richard to me while trying to show off for Cheryl." Cheryl mentioned that she was considering having some engineering students from the local university come over and do some of the work on her house. What a waste! A bunch of 19-year-olds who would probably say things like "Cheryl Who?" "Isn't she like some old chick from the 70's?" "Dude, she's like my mom's age." I think Cheryl should consider having some former engineering students from the 80's come over and do the work. That would be a show in itself. I'm certain my wife could direct that episode. I can see it now. "Hey, camera guy. Want to get some good footage? Follow my no game having husband while he attempts to hit on the supermodel." And then hilarity would ensue...

Tanned, Rested and Ready

I'm back! Even though most of you didn't even know I was gone. We spent last week on Captiva Island off the gulf coast of Florida. Pool, frozen margaritas, shelling on the beach, more frozen margaritas... Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't reply to emails or voicemails. I'm crazy busy this morning getting caught up with work. Then I have waaaaay too much catching up to do. I haven't even had time to check the blogosphere. I do know I made the light rail committee. What else did I miss? I have to get back to work so I'll provide some quick responses to questions I received over the last week. Yes. No! Yes, but only if you're both wearing hats. I'm not a doctor but I'd definitely have that looked at. Once, but it was only to win a bet. Try keeping the shower curtain on the inside of the bathtub. Yes that probably means you're gay and yes I would throw it away. That is all. As you were.

Steak Night

I got lucky. I'm on my own for dinner tonight and it just so happens to be Steak Night at Mike Kelly's Westsider. A 12oz Kansas City Strip for $9.95. Westport Flea Market has me covered on Mondays serving up a 10oz Kansas City Strip for $9.95. Of course the downtown Tanner's has been a regular destination on Thursdays for years. This got me to thinking. This is Kansas City. Surely there has to be a good ten buck steak every night? Help me fill in my calendar. Monday - Westport Flea Market Tuesday - Wednesday - Mike Kelly's Westsider Thursday - Tanner's Friday - Saturday - Sunday -

Dear Old Guys, Thanks But No Thanks

I AM SICK OF OUR CITY BEING RUN BY OLD WHITE GUYS. And when I say "old white guys" that includes men and women, every race, every religion, every whatever... "Old White Guy" is not just an age, it's an attitude. It occurs to me that this latest petition drive to repeal light rail is just one more attempt by Jim Nutter to interject his wishes and desires on the rest of us. This just in. Jim Nutter is 79 years old. Let's be frank here. Light rail projects are measured in years, if not decades. Whatever light rail (or no light rail) plan Mr. Nutter thinks is good for Kansas City will be lived with for a lot more years by the rest of us. I half jokingly said during a campaign forum once that I would make decisions with an eye toward the future as I plan on hanging around for at least another thirty years. Maybe forty. We'll have to see how I feel when I hit 70 before I commit to another decade. My dad wasn't a real big fan of his late 70's. Spare me the righteous indignation about age discrimination and how old you are has nothing to do with anything. I will call BS. We live in a country where age means everything. Want to drive a car? Sixteen. Feel like dying in a useless war? Eighteen. Want to have a drink before you ship off to die in a useless war? Twenty One. Want to start your own, and be president of a multi-billion dollar software company? No age requirement there! Want to be President of the United States? Sorry, you have to be thirty five to do that. So your average young professional that economic development officials want so badly to live, work and play in the urban core will be expected to "live, work and play" in a city built by octogenarians? Please... My dad passed away at 82. I loved him very much, but I didn't let him pick my music, my clothes, my friends or just about anything else that was important to me. He more than anyone impressed upon me the fact that it is up to the younger generations to make decisions regarding their futures. "You're the one that's going to have to live with it" he would say. "I'll be long gone." Morbid? Perhaps. Profound and practical? Absolutely. So why is it acceptable, no scratch that, why is it the norm to have old white guys building our city?

Democracy The Clay Way

Prime Buzz reports that a petition is being circulated to put a measure on the ballot to repeal the current light rail plan that was passed last March. First I have to say I disagree with repealing the measure in this manner. Especially when I hear the petition is being promoted by the likes of Jim Nutter. But just because I disagree with it doesn't mean I support quashing it with legal maneuvers or legislative chicanery. It has always been my fervent belief that the voters should be allowed to express their opinion at the polls. I would never support any attempts to hide, delay, alter or in any way mess with a ballot proposition. Sometimes it sucks when democracy doesn't work in the way you would like it. It's a big bad world out there. Deal with it. Dave Helling also reports that the man of clay (I won't mention the megalomaniac's name because I'm convinced he does nightly internet searches on himself) is "arguing that voters cannot repeal what they passed a year ago." "We'll be in court at the speed of light" he is quoted as saying. What kind of whacked out civics class did the man of clay take in grade school? The voters can't repeal their own measure?! Was I out sick the day they taught "Democracy when it suits you?" So whom will TMOC sue? Every person that signed the current repeal petition? Every voter that votes in the affirmative? Jim Nutter? (That I would actually like to see)

The Rise of the "Demoblican"

Kurt Vonnegut's book "Cat's Cradle" has more profound statements on life then just about anything I've ever read. In his mythical religion "Bokononism" he develops his own vocabulary including one of my favorite words "Granfalloon" (Not the bar, although that is what it is named after) which he defines as "a proud meaningless association of human beings." He gives examples as things like "the Communist Party" and "any nation, any time, anywhere." If religion is the opiate of the masses, then partisan politics must truly be the crystal meth. The only comparison I can draw to politics that turns what otherwise would be rational human beings into blathering idiots is professional sports. Boooo!!! Marcus Allen wears a black jersey and scores touchdowns for Al Davis. Boooo black jersey!!! Yaaayyy!!! Marcus Allen wears a red jersey and scores touchdowns for Lamar Hunt. Yaaayyy red jersey!!! Boooo!!! Paul Morrison is an evil oppressor with an elephant lapel pin putting the downtrodden in Johnson County jails. Boooo elephant pin!!!! Yaaayyy!!! Paul Morrison is the savior of Kansas with a donkey lapel pin bringing truth and justice to all. Yaaayyy donkey pin!!! Uhhh. Aren't they both the same guy? So all I have to do to become a completely different person is change my self-applied label? If only real life was that easy. Capt. Spaulding calls the recent switch of Chris Koster from red to blue "Republicrat to Demoblican." I couldn't agree more. What's the difference? So he's fired Republican strategist Jeff Roe? So what? When I first heard mention of Jeff Roe I asked a friend who he was and the reply was "he's the republican Pat Gray." "NorthStar, Axiom Strategies, same thing." "Oh I see" was my instant reply. Everything has a context. What would all these rabid red shirts and blue shirts do if there arose a viable third party? What about a fourth or fifth party? You mean people might actually have to think a little before they voted? Candidates might have to form (gasp) a coalition of interests? Perish the thought! We've become so ensconced with the notion of two parties, we've forgotten the principals of the republic. I was taught that a representative form of government involves representing your constituents. These days it seems an elected official represents their party. Forget the people. Especially if they're wearing the wrong lapel pin. I hope somebody starts the Granfalloon Party. I'm not sure what the lapel pin would look like though...